Yeah. I've Web MD'd myself. I admit it, I caved. And it's made my life pretty miserable. For the last three months, I've been worried, I've been scared, and I've been sick. Silly me, I thought googling my symptoms would calm me and provide answers... Instead I've faced three months of medical inquiries with the constant worry that the Docs might be missing "Disease A-Z" and that I have some crazy obscure diseases.
It has been utterly exhausting.
Yesterday I was in the E.R. because of all my issues and they ran a CT Scan. What's a CT Scan? You may have heard of it as a CAT Scan. Basically, you lay down on a bed that moves through what looks like a portal to another dimension. It makes a weird whirring sound and a calm, robotic voice says "Hold your breath.......breathe." Hundreds of X-Rays are taken all at once, shooting you up with radiation (yep, I'm waiting for super powers!)
I was scared of the CT scan. No, not because I'm not ready for super powers. Not because of radiation. I was scared, utterly terrified, that they would either find something horribly wrong, or that they would find nothing.
I wasn't sure what would have been worse...
Turns out whatever is wrong with me can't be seen on a CT Scan. As far as my internal organs go, I seem to be functioning 100% A-Okay. Blood tests are good, kidneys are awesome...I should be in perfect health. I'm not. But I should be grateful for the fact that my organs are in good shape, but all I feel is exhaustion and fear, because what if...what if it is Disease Q?!?
I am afraid.
What does any of this have to do with Satan using the internet? Well...
Satan Uses the Internet
The book of John tells us that Satan is "the prince of this world." Wait, what?Remember that this world is no longer perfect, it hasn't been since the first temptation of Adam and Eve. Sin is rampant in this world, and the king of sin is Satan. It is his goal to deprive us the Kingdom of Heaven, and to deprive us eternal life through our Lord. We often forget that he is an orchestrator of Spiritual Warfare. We fight a constant battle against Satan as God's people.
Satan does everything he can to make us inadequate soldiers in this battle. Right now I stand, feeling defenseless, as my health remains a struggle. I have not written a blog post in nearly two weeks, constantly putting it off, and I realize now that he won those rounds. This blog is part of my relationship to God. Sure, I was getting married and busy, but God is supposed to be integral to a functioning marriage. I was derelict, a soldier who had lost a fight.
The terrifying reality of Satan is that he will use everything he can to weaken us. He will use our health, he will use the news, our jobs, even the internet, to distract us from God and the ongoing battle. All I have done this week is worry about what is wrong with me, instead of turning to my God to find peace and healing.
How Do We Fight?
Fighting Satan is no easy task. He is a fallen angel, and we are mere humans. But we have what Satan does not--a God who stands firm and aids us in all things. Remember that God has given us armor. Ephesians 6:11-18 speaks of this armor:
"11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.
12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.
14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place,
15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.
16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.
17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. "
We do not walk into a battle with Satan alone, we walk with God and are armored by Him.
When is the Fight Over?
Do you ever get tired of fighting? I do. I am right now, as I sit here writing. But the sad truth is that the fight will never be over, not until you reach Heaven. Satan wants us forever cut off from God. He does not want us to be happy or at peace. And so the battle will be forever fought until you reach Heaven.
But there is relief. The Lord does not leave us alone to suffer without Him. He promises peace and restoration, strength and confirmation of His love.
"Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls about like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 9 But resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same experiences of suffering are being accomplished by your brethren who are in the world. 10 And after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you. 11 To Him be dominion forever and ever. Amen."1 Peter 5:8-11
Facing the World
Satan will try to make your life miserable. It doesn't have to be. It is human to worry and stress about illness. But Web MD won't heal you. God will.
My mission is to train myself not to Web MD and instead turn to God in my times of fear. It is His hands that will heal me, and so I must turn to Him and stop placing so much emphasis on other aspects of my life.
I hope you will consider the following verse.
"5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6
6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6
Open yourself up for healing and guidance. Let the Lord make your paths. Don't let Satan pull you into battle without the appropriate armor. Be strong.
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